Waiting to become a mother is one of the most exciting things in women´s life. Being pregnant is a unique experience, even though you have already children.
Every kick and movement represents an illusion. Every consultation with the doctor, ultrasound, other mom’s anecdotes, dreams about how our baby would be…Everything is part of a super special stage in our life. This stage certainly precedes that moment of upmost happiness: having your own children with you.
During pregnancy, a lot of wonderful things occur. After the first months — with weakening, vomits, and discomfort—, women look different and you perceive happiness at home. Couples make plans. The pregnant woman becomes the center of the family. She is prioritized and it makes her feel special.
There is something new in our life every day or week. I knew I was pregnant because I undertook two pregnancy tests and both tested positive. I started taking prenatal pills but I felt something was still missing. I admit I felt weird. I was analyzing how my life would be afterwards.
The twelve-week ultrasound was very exciting and revealing. It was the confirmation of my new life. I regret not having recorded that moment when the doctor was talking. My husband was thrilled. His stare was something new.
Watching the baby, listening to his/her heart beating was the confirmation that he or she was inside me.
Feeling the first movements also raised my expectations. Firstly, I doubted the baby actually moved. This is my first pregnancy so I was not sure. However, I started to identify if it were just a movement or a kick. I know that every morning the baby lies on my left side. I also feel some touches like a knock-knock. I am feeling so lucky to be a woman, to bring life to this world.
I asked some women about their pregnancy processes and when did they feel they were already moms. Most of them told me the pregnancy news made them very happy. But holding the baby and breastfeeding him/her made them see things differently.
By assuming this new “work content”, I have asked several women about their experiences in this subject. I wanted to know about the best way to raise our children by giving them love, tenderness, and care.
Everyone has told me the same in different words. “It is not an exact science. There are no books. Children are always sort of experiments and you learn on the process”.
You look at how they prefer food. You learn about their tastes. We guide them and every stage in their life is a new finding.
There is no difference if your child is a baby —you can control him/her easily— or an adult. They are going to surprise us in a good or bad way. Nonetheless, the certainty that we, the mother, are the best positioned to help our children is what makes us live full of emotions, commitment, and spark.
Feeling the Mother
By talking to mothers, I realized that no matter how much time has passed, 10 years, 20, or just 4 months, moms keep talking about motherhood as day one. It is something unforgettable.
“I want to punish him hard sometimes”, Maye told me about his older son. “But when I look into his eye, I change my mind. I cannot see him as a young man, but as my little kid. I cannot help seeing my children as little kids. I have raised both the same. But none of them are equal. One needs more tenderness. They are not equal.”
My friend Alicia recalls her debut as a mother, when she held in her arms her first-born son. “I gave birth with eight months and I did not know if he was going to survive or not. I was always told that I should talk to my baby during the pregnancy period so he could recognize my voice later. I was the last one to see him. When I first held him in my arms, he was crying a lot. I put him in my breast and started talking slowly and gently. I said ‘easy, mom is here’. The boy silenced quickly. He recognized my voice and it calmed him down. My son is already a teenager and every time he is sad because a girlfriend breaks up with him I do the same”.
“I breastfed my baby for tenth months and it was unique”, Aday told me. She also comments that breastfeeding is very practical because “you do not have to boil milk nor wash bottles. My daughter never got sick thanks to that. While I was pregnant everything was given to me and I felt special. When the baby came, everything was for her. I was not nervous in my childbirth. On the contrary, I was worried about how to hold my baby, or bath her, or change the diapers. After giving birth, women cannot sleep. But having your children is the best experience in life. Nothing spoils my appetite but seeing my daughter sick. And she is already 20.”
“I think women create lots of expectations since she knows about her pregnancy. I believe you feel mother as days pass by when you get to know your child at home. It is something unspeakable. It is like a strong emotion you feel your heart beating like a workhorse. You sacrifice your time, sleep time. They are the center of attention and they depend on us”.
A work for eternity
I think a lot on my mother. She always told me “you will only know how deep moms can go for their children when you become one”. I am not giving birth yet, but I feel many things have changed me. I am more cautious now than before. I was not afraid of cars before. Now I wait the best time to cross the street. You adopt precautionary measures because we feel responsible for the life we have inside.
Women experience so many things during pregnancy. Being a mother is so unique that it somehow compensates every time I have felt ill. It must be great because people forget the bad moments, labor pains, limitations, and give birth again and again.
Being a mother is to experience true love. It is like a contract for eternity. It is the best proof of love on Earth. As Luis Eduardo Aute would say: “life depends on it”.
Cubasi Translation Staff