Choosing is always hard, especially if we are talking about couples. But if we are looking to a good mom for our children, it is even harder. The subject raised some comments…
As you may see, I borrowed that last comment from a forum member named Jorge Alfonso who is right in his analysis. I am a mother, but I understand men.
“Why don´t you talk about how hard is for men to find a good woman to become the mother of their children? If you behave properly, women usually underestimate you and get bored. Then, she betrays you and everything you build, melts down,” he noted.
It is true. The “choosing” thing is not easy for either men or women. Despite what may occur, you can always choose wrongly. Nobody has the final say.
However, this was my inspiring phrase: “(…) Women and men must have the same right in the child custody. You can even imagine all the blackmail some good fathers endure when a mother uses your children to control you. I want to marry a state-of-the-art Chinese robot.”
I sense that Jorge’s experience has been bad. And therefore, his attitude towards love and family is biased. Nonetheless, you cannot be biased due to your life experiences.
Gordy’s criteria are also interesting: “You don’t know what comes next with fathers. There are good mothers and good fathers. I know one of them whose name is Arnaldo. He is my son-in-law. When my daughter met him, he already had a little girl. I thought he was not the right man for her and I learned to assess his qualities as a father as time passed by. I think now he is the best for my daughter.”
A Good Company for Life
Choosing a good mother for our children should correspond to the fact of having a good company for life. It happens first; children come next.
When asked about this subject, my friend Gabino pointed out: “I never questioned myself how to choose the mother for my children. My first concern was to envision her as a good wife. That’s the first thing men think of a woman. Later, you start to think about having a family.”
Time and life situations are essential to get to know people better. This formula is not always right, but it certainly helps to find the right path.
In times where material things matter —to some they are more important than love and human values—, the concept of family is complicated. Preserving family is a luxury nowadays.
Living the Experience and Narrate It
To my viewpoint, men should listen to the advices of Colombian psychologist Isabel Cristina Bettin. She suggests not hear our feelings but to analyze our partner down to earth. If we look our partner with “the eyes of our heart” is harder for us to see his/her flaws.
Studies carried out by Dr. Patricia Ares, specialist in family subjects, noted that Cuba has the highest rate of divorce in Latin America and the Caribbean. The average time of the first marriage is five years.
Such information may be seen distant to the subject we are discussing here. However, it indicated something has gone wrong although Cubans prefer consensual unions before legalizing marriage.
Thus, we can have a better picture in the dilemma that choosing a mother/father right is uncomfortable.
Cesar, photo reporter, hit the target when he said: “Scientists cannot foretell if a woman may get along well and create a family with you. With some good luck, a good woman is a gift in life.”
Translated by Sergio A. Paneque Diaz / CubaSi Translation Staff